Maybe this was a shit idea !!

Well I’m gonna just jump right into this no hairs no graces , if that’s even how you say it . I wont lie I’m already struggling to do this without banging an emoji somewhere and them red squiggles underneath the words are already showing how illiterate i actually am ha but im sure your already used to that .

I decided to write this blog for quite a few reasons one mainly being it actually helps to process and get my thoughts out there , not that they mean anything to anybody but maybe others can relate and think I’m not on my own in a world where people judge far to much about peoples feelings, i will probably bang on a lot about soz in advance . I will also get side-tracked and digress a lot like i just have . other reasons include the hope that maybe it will promote kindness , laughs and maybe see me in a different light as it is easy to portray yourself in a self protective manner which i think we all do at times. so I’m going raw and i will be brutally honest about my feelings in this, maybe it will get laughed at, maybe it will help others ir maybe it might just be a good read to pass time on the shitter who knows . No matter the outcome i have kept myself busy and out of troubles way ha .

Let me start with a little bit about how you probably see me and a little bit of why i portray that person. you will notice i say portray a few times because really that is what we all do daily without even noticing, rather it be to make people smile or weather its to make ourselves happy , don’t get me wrong when i am happy and all excitable that actually is me haha but then an hour later maybe something has upset me or made me feel a bit shitty or maybe iv just had to do something what sets my anxiety off , ( yes that’s right i suffer with bad anxiety ) but we carry on regardless and try and stay on a what we like to see as a level platform if that even exists , I mean iv sat there before now and thought fuck me Kim you was happy ten minutes ago what’s wrong with you , when really the truth is this is quite normal ( hate the word normal what even is that ) life is hard weather you have everything you want or nothing at all, we all have our own demons and every feeling counts anyway iv digressed haha back to it , the person you see, the tweets you read are all me. a confident happy kim but there are many layers , there’s the Kim that is screaming inside with frustration , there is a scared Kim and there is the anxious overthinking Kim , i wish i was the out there in your face person all the time but then I don’t think id be human. There are things that have happened in my life i wouldn’t even wish on the devil himself and no matter who was with me it didn’t matter, life was too lonely even the silence had a noise that was unbearable and i know I’m not on my own when i say that .

What I’m trying to say is we don’t really actually no anybody until that person lets you in and I’m going to do just that in my own kind of way I hope iv not bored you to death and if you got this far down the well done because even i know I’m hard work but i will do my best to make you smile and laugh along the way , i mean iv got to get to the story about planking on the xmas table yet haa true story haha I’m now going to go sort all these correcting squiggles out , enjoy your day and remember there is always someone who wants to listen and help .